In this Q&A Blog Series, Ashley Jensen, Senior Manager, Clinical Programs and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, shares how military couples can strengthen their relationship, manage stress, and create a united front to support their family’s well-being.
What should couples do when parenting stress starts to create conflict in their relationship?
While parenting can be one of the most rewarding experiences in life, we also know that parenting stress can be a huge contributor to couples’ relationship difficulties. Sometimes, when a parent is experiencing stress, they feel isolated, like they are in it alone. The remedy to isolation is connection. Here are some ideas to build your connection amidst the challenges of parenting:
- Take intentional time to have fun with each other. Schedule a date night. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. A simple hour after the kids’ bedtime with a chocolate chip cookie and a board game will suffice. It’s easy to get stuck in the minutiae of co-parenting duties and forget the very things that drew you together in the first place!
- Establish shared expectations and strategies. When we are disappointed with our partner, it’s often because of mismatched expectations. Take time to regularly debrief the successes and struggles of the week, plan for the coming week, and problem solve any sticking points. Do you want your partner to help more during mealtimes? Talk to them about it! Remember, you’re in this as a team, you’re not opponents. Recognize each other’s strengths and plan around the weaknesses.
- Seek professional help. If you and your partner are finding it difficult to connect with each other and resolve differences, it can be helpful to seek a couple’s therapist. That therapist can offer you tools to resolve conflict, increase connection, and create systems that can set you up for relational success.
The book “And Baby Makes Three” by John and Julie Gottman is a great resource for new parents who are learning how to navigate their relationship in their new life.
What are some strategies couples can use to manage their own stress while modeling healthy behaviors for their kids? Learn more here. Plus, learn here how couples can create a united front when parenting.