What to Expect During Reintegration
While reunions often bring joy and relief, helping military kids adjust after deployment can also come with moments of confusion, stress, and behavioral changes as family routines shift and relationships are re-established. These reactions are common and often temporary, but by understanding what to expect and how to respond, parents and caregivers can better support their children through this transition.
How Children May React by Age
Military children may show a range of emotional and behavioral responses during reintegration, and these reactions can look different depending on their age and developmental stage. Children’s behaviors during reintegration are often their way of communicating feelings they may not yet have the words to express. Understanding these behaviors can help parents respond with patience and confidence.
Infants & Toddlers
- Increased clinginess or separation anxiety
- Changes in sleep, eating, or soothing patterns
- Fussiness or difficulty settling with the returning parent
How to help:
Keep routines consistent, allow time for bonding, and offer reassurance through calm, predictable caregiving.
Preschool-Age Children
- Regression (bedwetting, thumb-sucking, baby talk)
- Increased tantrums or emotional outbursts
- Testing limits or seeking extra attention
How to help:
Use simple language to explain changes, provide choices when possible, and validate feelings even when setting limits.
School-Age Children
- Mood changes (irritability, sadness, worry)
- Difficulty with concentration or school performance
- Conflicted feelings—happy about reunion but worried about future separations
How to help:
Encourage open conversation, check in regularly, and support school routines and structure.
Adolescents
- Withdrawal or desire for more independence
- Emotional distance or reluctance to talk
- Frustration with changes in family roles or rules
How to help:
Respect their need for space while staying emotionally available. Invite conversation without pressure and involve them in family decisions when appropriate.
Important Reminders for Parents During Reintegration
- These reactions are normal responses to change, not signs of failure or misbehavior.
- Reintegration takes time for everyone — children and adults alike.
- Progress is often uneven. Good days and harder days can exist together.
- Support works best when families address concerns early and openly.
When to Seek Extra Support
Consider reaching out for professional support if behaviors:
- Persist or worsen over time
- Interfere with daily functioning, school, or relationships
- Include significant emotional distress, sleep disruption, or withdrawal
If you’re concerned about your child’s adjustment or would like additional support, learn more about available services and how Cohen Veterans Network can help.
Additional Support for Military Families
Reintegration takes time and helping kids adjust after deployment is a gradual process that looks different for every family. Explore resources like the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry’s Military Family Resource Center and Cohen Veterans Network’s Military Kids and Teens page to learn more about being there for your child throughout these transitions.
Tanetta Hassell, LCSW
Clinic Director | Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic at The Up Center
Tanetta Hassell is the Clinic Director at the Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic at The Up Center and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with extensive experience serving individuals, families, and communities impacted by trauma and life challenges. Throughout her career, she has worked across a variety of clinical settings, developing expertise in trauma-informed care, behavioral health services, and leadership within multidisciplinary teams.
As a clinician and leader, Tanetta is passionate about ensuring military-connected individuals and families have access to high-quality, evidence-based mental health care. She is dedicated to fostering a collaborative, compassionate environment that supports both clients and staff while advancing positive outcomes for the communities served.
What motivates Tanetta most is witnessing the growth, resilience, and transformation of the individuals and families who seek support. Outside of work, she enjoys quiet time and embraces her introverted nature despite working in a people-centered profession.